This year started off in a bathtub....
After a party, a 24 hour shindig. A bathtub with lavender inside of it and bath guests who played the ukulele and guitar for us bathtub fairies.
This year brought me the most unexpected surprise, when I met a human who was the first of their kind I had ever met, who quietly showed up next to me as we danced on a subway. A human whose presence has coaxed out some of the best versions of myself.
This year brought me to Haiti, delicious rugged sweet Haiti. It brought me the honor to witness a people who are grounded and resilient and anchored. It made me want to bow my body.
This year has had me stand completely naked in front of an entire audience side by side with artists I trust. And we stood without shame, without insecurity, eyes wide open, rashes and bruises and band-aids and all and we said “here I am, this is a human body, look at me”.
This year brought me Butoh, the quiet answer to a long question I have been asking myself. It was here that I re-found my fragility, my honesty, my vulnerability. It was here I found the most profound form of empathy: we sustain through pain by enduring it for one another.
This year has brought me the most incredible WOMEN who are my sisters, my creative companions, my safe spaces. Women whose hands have healed me, whose strength astounds me.
What I’ve learned this year can be summed up by a night I saw REVEREND at Union Pool when the guy jumped off the stage with his giant trombone and yelled “What does it mean to be in love? It means to be INSIDE of love, not outside of it, IN it” and I just nodded and said “yes, yes, that’s it, that’s exactly it, to be inside of love”.
I look around me and see how my life is filled with people I love and communities that inspire me and projects that energize me and I see what my days are filled with which is color and wonder and beauty, and there is no choice but to be left with... gratitude. Just gratitude.
I’m grateful, so unbelievably grateful.