I finally got a dose of my own medicine.
2015 ended and 2016 began with the zeal of guerrilla style reflection. Where can I grow? What did I learn? How can I keep saying YES?
Some obvious answers started rolling in and I bulldozed through them like a rabid beast: Meditate in the morning - GO. Set intentions each day - DO IT. Think less, do more - GOT IT. Slow down - I’M SLOWING DOWN, OK???
And where did I find myself? Exhausted. Many questions and none of the right answers ...what was I missing?
The answer turned out to be delicious and simple (as most forms of truth are). And it came in the form of a single word.
Ah, yes, surrender. That word I keep talking about but do not practice enough.
So I drank my own medicine and told myself to surrender. And surrender I did:
To asking for help when I need it.
To receiving love when it shows up.
To smelling my food before I eat it.
To watching my kettle slowly warm up.
I finally faced myself and acknowledged that I am someone who feels at home when I am fighting, when I am in the sacred hustle, when I am grinding towards something.
But to surrender is to say stop fighting. It is to say start letting.
Let what needs to happen, happen.
Let whatever comes, come.
Let whatever goes, go.
Because I am at my happiest when I am at my emptiest.
Empty empty happy happy. My mantra of this year.